Navigating School Changes: Insights on Kids’ Mental Health When A New School Year Starts

John Wilkinson (00:02)
Hello, everybody. Welcome to Getting Real Estate, the Living Colorado Teams podcast. We are joined today with not just a guest, but a special guest, my sister, Heather Latre. She is a licensed marriage family therapist and a licensed professional counselor. Is that right? Yep. So

Heather Latreille (00:22)
That's right.

John Wilkinson (00:23)
Heather, tell us a little bit about what that all means and what pulled you towards specializing in kids' mental health.

Heather Latreille (00:33)
Okay, so a licensed marriage family therapist works with children, teenagers, and families mainly on kind of the family system. some marriage family therapists work with couples, and some specialize just working with kind of the parent child dynamics. and you can definitely see individuals in within that system, but you kind of focus on how

how you work within that system and and how you and those other people are impacting each other. And then a licensed professional counselor is just a licensed therapist that just kind of works on on the general mental health of their clients and and how they work in the world.

Kenda Ruck (01:21)
I love that you call it a system, right? Like the family

Heather Latreille (01:24)
Yeah. Yeah.

Kenda Ruck (01:25)
system, because it is it's not just one or two pe it's a system and it has to all kind of work together to make it to make it work properly. What do you find is one of the most common misconceptions that parents have about children and therapy? Because I know you work you specialize with children, right? Okay.

Heather Latreille (01:48)
But I've always

specialized with kids and teenagers now. I I w I work mainly with adolescents and their parents. I think one of the biggest misconceptions is when a child is struggling with a mental health issue that it's a reflection on their parenting.

Kenda Ruck (02:04)
Mm.

Heather Latreille (02:05)
That they've done something to cause the situation. and that as we know is is a a misconception in in that field.

Kenda Ruck (02:16)
Yeah, that's good to hear.

John Wilkinson (02:17)
So it is, you know, 'cause everybody

everybody says everything, all problems go back to childhood trauma. You know, like you know, like that. You know, parents did something to mess you up and like, you know, so that that is that is a good misconception. I did have that conception, you know, so that that is okay, okay. That

Heather Latreille (02:33)
It is it is a misconception. There's definitely things that that

can impact kids that don't involve their parents.

John Wilkinson (02:41)
I know.

We try to think that we're maybe the center of their world and and a lot of times we are, but there's other things that they do in navigating life. So we, Kenda Heather and I grew up Army brats. we moved every three or four years, which you had its own challenges. you know, we had to start at new schools. the I think the biggest challenge was us when we moved to Germany, right? We went to a foreign country as teenagers. I was

going to be a sophomore, Heather was going to be a freshman. and so Heather from that, how do you think like that experience of us moving so much kind of shaped the work you do now or do you think it did? and also any funny anecdotes or stories you'd like to share?

Kenda Ruck (03:28)
We want to hear all the stories about John. All of them.

Heather Latreille (03:31)
Don't

be scared right now. I well, I I mean I think it definitely taught me different social skills and coping skills. Does that make sense? Like I feel like when you're in when anyone is in a state of discomfort, that's when you develop the most growth. and moving is definitely puts you in a state of discomfort. Like you have to start all over, you don't know anybody, you have you know a new

and a new school and a new neighborhood and all new, you know, cast members almost in your life. and you have to figure out how to navigate that. And so I think it it taught us resilience. I think it taught us you know s social skills for sure, how to put ourselves out there. and

Coping mechanisms, you know, if you are and this was before, you know, social media and email,

to keep in touch with old friends. You were writing letters and it was snail mail and so I think all of that was was very impacted, made a big impact on me and yes it does help me when I when I talk to kids. You know, we get we get new kids every year, new kids to Austin, new kids to our school, and it's something that I can very easily empathize with. and then helping kids who also know, you know, I I'm leaving this school.

And kind of helping them prepare for that transition. mean, I think what I remember most from most of our moves is I would make really quick friends and John would just kind of hang out with me and my friends during the summer until school started, and then he he would find his own friends, and then, you know, I was yesterday's news. Being the little sister,

John Wilkinson (05:19)
It's so true.

Heather Latreille (05:20)
I was I was you know, top shelf until until he didn't need me anymore.

Kenda Ruck (05:26)
Yeah. That sounds

like a brother for sure. You did.

John Wilkinson (05:28)
Yep. I remember that. Yeah. I told Kenda the story before. I

said, I betcha she's gonna tell this story.

Kenda Ruck (05:34)
Yeah.

John Wilkinson (05:35)
Yeah. Yeah.

Kenda Ruck (05:36)
Yeah. And and actually, you know, that's a coping mechanism, right? And it worked for him. And, you know, he knew that you had strengths that maybe he did not possess at that time in life. And he was just able to, you know, find somebody around him who had the coping skills necessary to get him through that transition. And you're right, change is incredibly uncomfortable. So

Right now we have so many kids that are going back to school. We also, our podcast talks to people who are thinking about moving to Denver or who have recently moved to Denver. So you have kids, whether they're going back to school and they've lived here forever, or they're moving to Denver and they are going through exactly what you guys went through in Germany: new house, new foods, new neighbors, new car, new everything. How do you help?

These kids be a little bit comfortable in their discomfort. What are some of

Heather Latreille (06:36)
Yeah.

Kenda Ruck (06:36)
the coping mechanisms that you teach?

Heather Latreille (06:38)
Yeah, so I definitely kind of sticking to a routine and so even if you're moving to a new city

Maintaining the same routine that you had previously. So so the the inside of the house that routine is still the same. We're still sitting down, we're having dinner together, you know, we're we're not making major changes to our family schedule based on this move. unless, you know, a parent maybe have gotten deployed and then you you do have to kind of restructure.

I think j moving grades, you know, that that can be a transition. So if even if a kid is going to the same school, but moving grades, having those conversations and really kind of trying to focus on it on the positive. Does that make sense? Like what what are you excited about for this new grade? You know, what what do you think's really gonna challenge you? Kind of really being careful about how you phrased your questions and what you focus on.

Again, you know, a thing my my brother used to love to do is the older brother was trying to scare me about what was coming up in the next grade or you're that teacher so hard or it's g and I you know, it was it worked for a little while until, you know, as a kid you go through it and you realize he's just he was just trying to scare me.

Kenda Ruck (07:58)
Mm-hmm.

John Wilkinson (07:58)
Full of it.

Yeah.

Heather Latreille (07:59)
Really

trying to like focus on the excitement, the adventure and having them realize that some of it is gonna be a challenge and that's okay. You know, the

Kenda Ruck (08:09)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Latreille (08:10)
challenge is again, how we grow, how we develop, how we become stronger and more resilient in our lives. And so

really kind of trying to prepare them of like, what challenges do you expect? What do you anticipate? And obviously th these are conversations for older kids, but even a fourth or third grader can could identify those kinds of things. and for the really little ones, just really kind of focusing on, you know, this is gonna be an adventure. We're all going through it together and we're gonna have to learn what it what it's like to be, you know, in this stage of life t you know, and and just really kind of focusing on the positive.

Kenda Ruck (08:46)
Heather, there's so much meat to what you just said that I just wanna go back and before we move on to our next question and just kind of unpack a little bit. I think so many times, and I did this as a parent, we don't want our kids to be uncomfortable, right? We don't want them to face challenges or struggles. And I think what you just said was so key because you said there's there are gonna be challenges. There are gonna be struggles this year.

What do you think those struggles will be and how can we deal with them as a family? And I think I love that you said we're doing this together. Because if you tell them there aren't gonna be any challenges, that's just not true. And then they'll not trust you because you didn't really tell them the truth. So I think that that is some really it's gold right there that yes, there are gonna be hard things, but we're gonna get through it together.

Heather Latreille (09:39)
And if

you pretend like it's all gonna be, you know, great and there aren't gonna be challenges, the first time that kid feels a challenge, they're gonna think they did something wrong. Like, why is this hard for me? And maybe they won't wanna talk about it, you know, because mom or dad basically said everything was gonna be fine. And things can be fine and hard at the same time.

John Wilkinson (09:58)
I that's one of my favorite sayings is two things can be true, right? You know, there can be a positive and negative happening at the same time. You know, and Hayden is going to be a junior this year, and and you know, people say, you know, junior year is the most difficult year, you know, in high school, and I am going to remember to to tell him that we are in this together because I I also see that, you know, you can have these conversations with kids before something starts. But

After school starts, what kind of conversations or questions should parents be asking their kids to help reinforce that we're in this together?

Heather Latreille (10:42)
Yeah. I think it's it's a a check-in. I'm I I'm I my brain is focusing more on kind of the older kids and so really kind of having that check in, like, gosh, you know, you you were worried about this that first week. Remember you had said you were worried about making friends or you were worried about making a certain team or this or that. You know, how d how did how do you feel like that went? Like just really kind of doing like check ins with them, or you know, by Thanksgiving you you know, you you had you were really worried that

know you weren't going to do X Y and Z like how is that going? Is there anything that you know you want to re replan or rethink about or has something surprised you as you've been going through school and has have you made any changes to how you're approaching things? I think just remembering

With those older kids, you've gotta just have invitations to them and leave that leave it open. I mean, if you sit down and you make a kid talk to you, they're if they're not in the mood for that, they're not going they're not going to have that conversation. but if you say, Hey, I know that, you know, you had a lot of goals going into this year and we're hitting, you know, Thanksgiving break, I would love to hear how

you think things are going and talk about the next few months and see, you know, are your goals changing? Do you feel like you've me met some of them? Do you want to make new ones? Just kind of inviting them into the conversation, rather than being like, Well, you can't get up from dinner until you tell me how this is going.

John Wilkinson (12:18)
That doesn't go well.

Kenda Ruck (12:18)
Yeah, that

does not that does not work. I've had young children and older And and that brings up another point because the if they're already used to sharing with you how they feel about or reflections about how things are going in their life, it might be a little bit easier if they're already used to it. So how do you start them? Like the conversation is different with little kids.

going to kindergarten

Heather Latreille (12:41)
Story.

Kenda Ruck (12:42)
or going to third grade. How do you how do you start that when they're young so that they do feel able to communicate as they get older as well?

Heather Latreille (12:50)
Yeah, so we we have two boys. They've they're both in their twenties now and are officially out of college. and so we launched their launched.

Kenda Ruck (12:58)
Launched. They're launched.

Heather Latreille (13:01)
Yes. we started it with, you know, tell us two positive and one negative thing about your day. Because we didn't want them to just tell us about the good things, right? We did

Kenda Ruck (13:12)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Latreille (13:12)
have one of our sons was a bit of a negative Nelly, like he always wanted to talk about things that were going

going

wrong in his life, but I was like, you have to tell me two things that went right today before you can tell me the what went wrong today. and so just getting into that that pattern. I know

Here at at our school every Friday in our advisories, we do something called Peach Pit Jam or Rosebud Thorn. And we a ask each kid like what was one good thing that came that happened this week? What was your peach, you know, and what was your pit? What what was something that, you know, you didn't really love how it turned out or you didn't l really like like what what happened and what's your jam? Like what are you into? What are you excited about? Is there a a song or a TV show or something that you're really into right now? and I

We did that as a family when the kids were little, just kind of having them really kind of think about what was going on in their life that they really wanted to share. And as you kind of start that pattern at a young age, then when you ask them a question or set up an invitation when they're a teenager, they're not gonna just think, mom's just trying to get up in my business. You know, they're gonna really think you're invested.

John Wilkinson (14:28)
Yeah, I love that. I you know, I I've heard somebody recently say that they have fireside chats with their daughter who's gonna be ten. And you know, it's funny because she in order to get anything out of her, you the dad has to give her something, like a little bit of gossip, a little bit of tea about what's going on in the household, and then she'll open up and say, you know, other things. And so I think I think that's that's really smart. So, you know, at

You living Colorado team, you know, obviously we're in in real estate and we deal with people who are relocating especially families who have kids, you know, relocation can be very, very difficult. finding the right school, making sure they're gonna be set up for success. What is different from starting or for kids from starting a new school versus just moving up a grade?

Heather Latreille (15:20)
Yeah. I think just moving up a grade, you're very familiar with the characters of the school. especially if you're not moving it into like middle school. If you're just moving up a grade, you you're pretty familiar with like you know you get to know the teachers, especially the ones who are the kind of, you know, the leaders of the school and they're kind or they have that reputation, right? You you start hearing that and you start getting to know that. You know what to expect when you go to the cafeteria, you know what to expect, you know, in the hallways, you know how the walkers.

work things like that but when you're relocating and you're starting a brand new school everything's brand new and that's a lot of information and stimulus for brains to intake it's a lot for adults and it's a lot for kids and so

really kind of giving them the time to process everything. don't expect miracles, don't expect, you know, first day is gonna be like, I have a new best friend. I tell, you know, we talk to our seniors when they leave for college, to talk about, you know, it's not like, I sat next to somebody and we had the same lunch box and so they're my best friend now. How do you make friends?

I work at a school where kids go to school together sometimes from kindergarten through twelfth grade. They haven't had to worry about making friends. And so here they are going off to college. And so we start those conversations all over again. How do you make friends? You know, you have to you have to figure out who your people are, figure out how to get involved with like-minded people.

You have to risk, right? You have to put yourself out there in some ways and be vulnerable. I used to have a professor in my master's program that used to say first you risk and then it's safe. That little girl

Kenda Ruck (17:04)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Latreille (17:05)
was sitting with her dad. She wanted to sh she wanted some vulnerability from him before she was gonna share any of her information.

Kenda Ruck (17:12)
Yeah.

Heather Latreille (17:13)
I mean, it really is a give and take and so many times you have to name that for the kids to make it be like, yeah, you're right.

do need to do that.

Kenda Ruck (17:23)
At the beginning of the call, you said that you were the one who would go into a new area, make the friends. John would tag along, and then once he felt comfortable and he was in in his element, then he could go off and make his own friends. So you had to have some skills for going in and making friends in a brand new area. So what are some very practical things that kids can do to get them to start feeling like they belong? And if you could talk about kindergarten, like

Middle to high school and then then college as well. just some practical things at each age.

Heather Latreille (17:57)
Yeah. So

I think those really the those lower school, those those littles, it's a lot the parents have to do it, right? The parents have to get involved in the community. They need to join some parent groups. They need to take to the play the playground, the park in the neighborhood.

in our neighborhood we'll we'll get Facebook posts like, I just moved to this neighborhood, I've got kids giving this age, any other moms of would like to get together, like those kinds of things. I think those are great ideas. At a certain point the kids aren't gonna want their moms setting up their play dates, though.

Kenda Ruck (18:32)
Right.

Heather Latreille (18:33)
And I think that's when it's really important to really kind of help those kids build their interest. You know, it's okay if they try karate and they don't like it. But they tried karate and now we can try maybe an art class or maybe we can go join a a theater class or we can join some team sports.

really kind of like letting them that those middle years is really about letting them figure out where they're drawn towards. and then offering those kids the opportunity. Obviously they're not driving yet. So they they're not gonna be like, I'm gonna go down to the YMCA and do X, Y, and Z.

But giving them those opportunities to be like, Hey, what do you wanna try rather than I'm just gonna sit at home and I'm going to game or I'm gonna sit on you know, sit on my phone or watch T V. Like, no, we've gotta pick one thing that we're we're gonna do together. And even if it's doing it together as a family, just getting out there and trying to figure out what their interests are. By the time they're in high school I remember

I was a fresh going to be a freshman when we moved and I was interested in a couple of different things. I wanted to maybe play volleyball and I went and my parents didn't just drop me off. They stayed and I was like, I don't think I want to do this and I got back in the car and I left. Well the next thing I picked was the dance team. Well they dropped me off and they left. I couldn't I couldn't

Kenda Ruck (19:56)
There was no backing out.

Heather Latreille (19:59)
and I

ended being part of the dance team for all four years. but I think it was just the fact that they didn't give me that opportunity to escape because when you're in that like that fight or flight, right? You're you're feeling anxious, you're feeling really uncomfortable. If there's a if there's an escape hatch, you're gonna take it.

Kenda Ruck (20:18)
Yeah.

Heather Latreille (20:20)
And so that was really helpful. And I so I think, you know, it putting your kids in uncomfortable situations, safe uncomfortable situations, I think is important and to say, you know, we're gonna try this and we're gonna do it, you know, three times before we're gonna say we're not doing this anymore.

And then and then we can talk about the next plan. So I think giving your when they're little, parents have to get involved, parents have to offer them those opportunities. Those middle years you have to let them try so many different things until they find something that they really love and they want to own. And then that

they get older, you really have to kind of push and let go and let them really kinda try it a few times before you let them be like, Okay, you try you gave it a good try.

John Wilkinson (21:08)
I mean I think that's it it's it's exactly right, right? So we no no parent I think has any ill will. I shouldn't say none. There are some bad parents out there, but in general there are well meaning parents. What are some things that well meaning parents just get wrong?

Heather Latreille (21:25)
I think that that feeling of I need to jump in here and save them.

The rescue that we every parent has it, that instinct of like, I've got to save them from this. I need to rescue them from this. kids can do hard things and I I I feel like if we are rescuing them from doing those hard things

we're we're robbing that ability for them to realize that they can do hard things, that they have the strength, that they ca they have the courage, that they have the perseverance to kind of stick with something even when it's hard. and so I I think that's probably one of the things I see parents doing wrong is just trying to save them or trying to jump in. You know, having difficult conversations. I think about like

a teacher may have like misgraded something or they are not happy with their grade and having that parent contact the teacher rather than the kid saying like hey go and have this conversation you can practice with the kid you can practice with your kid and be like I'm gonna be the teacher you're gonna come talk to me let's practice this so you feel more confident going in there but letting the child try to handle it I think is is super important.

Kenda Ruck (22:46)
That is such great advice. Easier sometimes said than done. You know, sometimes your kids come home and they're just like, I help me, you know. And I remember one time my son needed to make a doctor's appointment. He was 18 at the time. And like, you're eighteen, you have to call and make the doctor's appointment. And boy, you would have thought that I

Heather Latreille (23:08)
Yeah.

Kenda Ruck (23:08)
asked him to like pull out his own kidney and donate it or something. I mean, it was torture, torture.

Heather Latreille (23:13)
Yeah.

Kenda Ruck (23:14)
for him. And he was so upset. But I made him do it. And I felt like such a bad, I felt so mean. But I knew he needed to rip that band-aid off and do that. And that still sticks in my mind. So that's great. What what we should not be doing is rescuing them. What are some concrete things that we as parents should be doing that first few weeks of school or the first few weeks after a move?

Heather Latreille (23:40)
Yeah, so checking in with your kid, making sure, you know, that there isn't something egregious happening that you really do need to be aware of. Or if they are, if they're just really kind of like isolating themselves and not, you know, kind of digging in their heels and being like, I'm not going to do X, Y, and Z, you know, I'm not gonna leave my room and I'm not gonna

really kind of trying to slowly bring them out and be like, you know, I understand. It's really sad we left, you know, our our previous home. Is there anything you're excited about? Right? Like let we've got to find a couple of things, you know, so just constantly having that little th those little invitations, those little challenges, going and doing something with them, being like

I also need to make new friends in this area. So we're gonna do this together. And so we're gonna go to this program that I read about. And you know, really kind of just making it a team effort, making sure they know that they're not alone, giving them those invitations to have those conversations.

It's okay. It's okay if you go and something doesn't, you know, work well and you don't leave feeling like that was the best thing in the world. It's okay, but at least you put yourself out there and you tried. I think, you know, no one's winning a gold star or s you know, any sort of medal for doing any of this stuff. And so j that just the act is what's important. Just getting out there and and trying is what you're really going for.

Kenda Ruck (25:23)
Beautiful.

John Wilkinson (25:24)
No, it really is. And and you know, it's I keep thinking back at you know when we were kids at, you know, moments when, you know, mom and dad were trying to either, you know, support us or try to to help us. Obviously they didn't have the training, you know, that you do. and there are definitely things that, you know, they probably did because they thought it was the right thing to do that may have made it a little more difficult for us.

You know, on the flip side, and I know mom like is like me, I do a lot is trying to rescue and and you know, it's and Billy tells me this all the time as well. It's like you need to let Hayden kind of, you know, take a risk and fail and

Kenda Ruck (26:06)
Fail. Yeah.

John Wilkinson (26:09)
and pick himself up because otherwise he won't learn. You when when we're thinking about you know these moves, they can be big. When does it

become concerning for you as a professional, what red flags

Heather Latreille (26:25)
Yeah.

John Wilkinson (26:26)
might there be to warrant a parent saying, hey, you may need to ask, you know, help from a counselor or or a professional?

Heather Latreille (26:32)
Yeah.

Yeah. So I think when it starts impacting other areas of their life, if you see a very big dip in academics, if you see you know, a real

I wanna say hesitancy, but more of like a refusal to interact with anybody. if they are using if they're just on, you know, screens all the time. You know, in this day and age there are things that we have to worry about that we never had to worry about when we were young. You know, there's now AI companions and and you know, things online that we never that were weren't a problem when but there there are ways for kids to develop friends through AI and

Now and you know, then they're missing out on they're getting that like connection hit. Does that make sense? Like they might feel

Kenda Ruck (27:24)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Latreille (27:25)
more connected in that short little interaction they're having with maybe an AI bot, but it's not a long term feeling. And kids are wired for connection. They want to be in community with people, they want to feel

Like they're well liked and they want to feel conne that like I'm needed and I'm important in this relationship. And so if they're replacing that with AI, that can be real dangerous. And so and I I would never make it like if you feel like your kid needs to see a therapist, I I don't think that's necessarily like we're we're at DEF CON five or DEF CON one, I don't know which one's the highest one, but th

John Wilkinson (28:08)
I don't know either.

Heather Latreille (28:09)
That's where we're at. Like, I mean it takes a village.

We ha raised our boys in a in at our the school that we work at, our boys knew this community very well. and it took a lot of the adults and a lot of the families within our community to help us raise our kids. Obviously when they didn't want to talk to us, they had favorite teachers, they had coaches, they had other mentors within our community, other parents that they built a relationship with that they were talking to and

For me it wasn't so important that they were t necessarily talking to us as parents. I just wanted them talking to somebody.

Kenda Ruck (28:48)
Mm.

Heather Latreille (28:49)
And you know, the number the number one protective factor against you know, the big things that we worry about, you know, self-harm, suicidal ideation, things like that is a relationship with a trusted adult.

And so as if they have one rel one ad trusted adult in their life that they have a relationship with, that's important. And so encouraging them to develop those kinds of relationships, even if it's not necessarily at home with us, you know, my kids used to tell me all the time, I don't want to talk about this with you and I'm like, Do you know what I do for a living?

John Wilkinson (29:22)
Yeah.

Kenda Ruck (29:24)
I'm kind of smart.

Heather Latreille (29:25)
I'm like, come on, give me something.

Kenda Ruck (29:28)
Right.

Heather Latreille (29:29)
but I did know that there were other people that they were talking to. And I knew that I trusted those adults that if something really huge was going on that I needed to know, that they would let me know.

Kenda Ruck (29:39)
Yeah, this this might be a little bit of a rabbit trail, but it sparked the thought when you were talking about that connection, that you know, COVID just did like a just a U turn for for so many people and a lot of children and then adolescents and and even adults, we lost that ability

Heather Latreille (29:59)
Yeah.

Kenda Ruck (30:00)
to connect. now I think it's a struggle.

For a lot of people to connect.

Heather Latreille (30:06)
feel like schools are trying to kind of backpedal on that. I know y you're seeing a lot of screens not being as readily available to them. You know, we are now a no cell phone campus. while kids have laptops and they're are using their laptops. they're not allowed to, you know, just be on their phones during lunch and during, you know, their off

Kenda Ruck (30:27)
Good.

Heather Latreille (30:27)
periods and things like that. And even like headphones, your AirPods and stuff, we don't want kids just

using that as a way to avoid social interactions. I think that's something that when we were young and we had to learn how to be bored. We had to learn

Kenda Ruck (30:47)
Yeah.

Heather Latreille (30:47)
how to sit and wait. We had to learn how to

Kenda Ruck (30:51)
Yeah.

Heather Latreille (30:52)
entertain ourselves. And

Those are important those are life skills, those are important skills and so it's okay for a kid to be bored for as they're, you know, going through the the the s grocery store or waiting for a bus or, you know, there are things that you can teach your kid to do that doesn't require them to be on a phone.

How to start a conversation with people, how to maintain eye contact, how to ask questions, you know, especially kids love talking about themselves. And if

Kenda Ruck (31:26)
Mm-hmm.

Heather Latreille (31:27)
you teach your kid how to ask questions, I mean that's a that's a great way to start some new friendships.

John Wilkinson (31:34)
I'm just always going back to obviously personal experiences and and with Hayden, you know, just having him be able to have conversations and when he's at camp or you know, environments that he is comfortable in, he's great at at suc at succeeding, right, in the in those areas. It's the the areas where there's a little discomfort and and you have to take reasonable risk where

You know, there's a little little bit of hesitation. if there were, you know, like for anybody who's listening, a a piece of advice that you'd want to leave parents for you know, heading into the school year, maybe they've started the school year, what is what is that one piece of advice that you'd you'd want them to to leave with?

Heather Latreille (32:22)
Yeah, don't stop asking, right? Don't stop asking questions. Don't stop offering the invitations. Don't like it's okay to be curious. And honestly, if you come at something in a point of curiosity, most kids aren't gonna be like

they're just being s nosy or they're being s you know, you could be like, I'm wondering what what your first day was like. I'm wondering what it was like to sit in a biology class when you've never taken biology before. Was that overwhelming? Like I feel like that'd be you know you know, and really kind of sharing your own experiences, I think, is is important. I I just think remembering kids are resilient and that they can do hard things. everyone has their limit, obviously. Like everyone has that threshold of I just cannot

Hope any longer and being able to recognize that in your kid and knowing and letting them know it's okay and that you know you can talk to people, we can get you we can talk to a therapist, we can you can talk to your school counselor, you can talk to your coach, you can talk to your your pastor, whatever it is, there's other people that we can talk to, and it's okay that you know you're feeling overwhelmed right now, and it's okay that things are hard right now and

hopefully, you know, we're gonna create a support team around you to make things a little bit easier.

Kenda Ruck (33:43)
Thank you so much, Heather. you gave

Heather Latreille (33:45)
Yeah.

Kenda Ruck (33:46)
us so many nuggets of just just so much truth, but in presented in such a beautiful way. And I have adult children now. But you

Heather Latreille (33:55)
Mm-hmm.

Kenda Ruck (33:55)
know what? The same principles apply because I still have this desire to swoop in.

And make them comfortable or to make everything okay for them. And sometimes I struggle to connect with them because they're living their own lives. But the same principles really do apply. So we're so grateful. I think that there's something for everybody in what you shared with us today. And especially if people are thinking about making a move or as kids go back to school. So incredibly helpful. And I'm so grateful that you shared your time with us and our audience today.

Heather Latreille (34:24)
I appreciate the invitation.

John Wilkinson (34:29)
Yeah, I know, I know. My sister is is amazing and I appreciate

Kenda Ruck (34:32)
She's amazing.

John Wilkinson (34:32)
yeah, appreciate your time with us today. Remember, everyone, please subscribe to the podcast and drop any comments that you have. if you have any questions for Heather, we will definitely get them to her and thanks for listening.